Step One Hundred and Eight
Step 108. Happiness Is Something I Must Learn Again.
Learn, then, again about happiness. In your two practice periods, engage your mind in investigation. Consider your ideas about happiness and the forms of behavior you think they must represent. Think of all the ways you have attempted to be happier than you are. Think of all the expectations and requirements you have placed upon yourself to be happy and to prove to yourself and to others your worth. As you recognize these things, realize that without this attempt happiness will arise upon its own, for you are naturally happy. Without restraint, your happiness will arise upon its own, without your imposing it upon your mind and upon your body. Without your imposition, happiness will arise on its own. Think upon this today, but do not be content with simple conclusions, for you are a beginning student of Knowledge and great conclusions come later.
Practice 108: Two 30-minute practice periods.
"While God allowed the universe to be created, the physical universe you live in, God also gave the antidote to suffering and to separation at the very beginning because you cannot really be separate from your Creator and from Creation. Even being obsessed in the physical reality, you still cannot escape your origin and your greater destiny.
"It is hard for people to be honest about this. They are so adapted to their own misery that they call things “good” that are not good. They accept things that are unacceptable. They adapt to situations that are harmful or unfulfilling for them.
"It is then all a matter of time, and time here can be equated with suffering, the suffering you experience to various degrees every day of your life. You do not even know how much you are suffering because you do not know what it is like to be free of it, except perhaps for brief moments here and there. Even your state you call “normal” is a state of suffering—a state of apprehension, concern and anxiety; a state overshadowed by the difficulties of life and the great change that is happening in the world at this time."I applied this to myself and realized that the state I call happy is probably not happy at all. I must learn again what happiness is by following the Knowledge that God has placed within me, redeeming my relationship with my deeper nature, my True Self, and bringing my Ancient Home into my physical reality. I can only do this by continuing to practice the Steps to Knowledge and learning how I can contribute to life so that my real unique gifts can be given where they are needed. When that happens I will know true happiness.
During the practices, I understood that I am happy when I accept reality as it is, when I do not try to create castles in the air. This does not mean I am satisfied with less or satisfied with a bad situation. It means I am looking soberly at myself and my life, accepting the limits, but knowing that there is something greater, there is a deeper consciousness, there is mystery to be explored, there is more than the eye can behold. I am here to discover it and reclaim what is inherently mine. I am more than my limited self. I am happy merely because I am.